


Loss

by perpetuallydisorganizedwriter



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Actually maybe some? A little? Scarcely a comfort in sight. I'm sorry, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Hurt No Comfort, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Other, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 22:18:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perpetuallydisorganizedwriter/pseuds/perpetuallydisorganizedwriter
Summary: Fic Prompt: Diego whump request! Diego struggles with dealing with the loss of not only his mother but Eudora and his siblings just want to help.





	Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies. This is all sadness. My poor son. Someone asked for this.

Loss. One word, four letters, and for those unfortunate to experience it, a lifetime of pain. Diego was no stranger to loss. In fact, it was an emotion he knew well. He had lost a mother –though she hadn’t wanted him, a normal childhood, a normal life, and a brother. The last cut deep. Deeper than he had thought possible and for the longest time, he thought that was as bad as it would get, but of course, he was wrong. He had found love and lost it. Not to death –at least not yet– but to his own stupidity. He thought she knew what she meant to him, thought it didn’t need to be expressed in words. It was in the way he whispered her name at night, the way he gripped her hips, the way they swayed to the music even if it was only the beat of their hearts setting the tempo.

Like I said, he had been stupid. He lost her but she was still around and though she rolled her eyes and argued with him, it meant so much to see her. And then, she was gone. _Really_ gone. He blamed himself for her death. Replayed that conversation they shared in the station over and over again. ‘Why don’t you put that badge down for one night and come out on the streets with me? Without all this bullshit?’ He had said it knowing –no _thinking_ – that she would never listen. She was too good for that. She knew the rules and played by them so when he had gotten the call hearing that she needed his help, the last thing he expected was to find her dead on the floor. It was his fault, he knew it and he would never forgive himself.

And then, he lost his mother. Twice actually. Once by his own hand and again when he failed to get to her in time. He could still picture her in the window, waving as Klaus tried to pull him away. He should have gone in. If he had only just gotten to her in time. He could have saved her where he had failed Eudora…

Grief was a funny thing. It changed people. Maybe not all at once, but eventually. His guilt weighed on him but the grief… Well, that made him angry. Truthfully, he knew there were better ways to deal with it all, but he was never good with emotions. His father had thought them messy and unnecessary. Emotion begets weakness. Weakness leads to failure. Their father was a harsh and stoic man and he expected nothing less from his children. However, it was never something they mastered. In that aspect, they were all disappointments.

Rather than deal with the loss and face it head on, he pushed it aside. They had managed to stop the apocalypse and save the world, but not everyone. So, to deal, Diego took to the ring. He took that pain, twisted it until it was no longer recognizable and used it to fight.

Fighting was something he was good at. Always was. Since they were children, they were taught how to defend themselves. How to enter a battle and return the only victors. The halls of their home had been lined with posters depicting various methods of self-defense. Their kitchen contained a simple how-to poster on which kitchen equipment to use as weapons should they ever need to. They were pitted against one another in hand to hand combat as soon as they were able to strike with a fist. As Number Two, he trained harder, _fought harder._ As if he could one day work his way up. He never did, but it gave him the upper hand in the ring.

The only problem was, strong emotions easily led to mistakes. He would return home each night with fresh bruises, beaten and bloody. His siblings worried. It seemed as though each time they saw him, he was in worse and worse shape so he really shouldn’t have been surprised when they called a meeting. He thought it had to do with the Commission –a threat that still hung over them according to Five, so he had been shocked when the subject at hand was _him_.

“We’re just worried about you,” Vanya said softly. There was nothing but concern in her eyes but still, Diego scoffed. Though they had grown somewhat closer as a family, he didn’t feel like listening to this.

“Don’t laugh, Diego. Look at you. Have you seen a mirror lately?” It was Luther of all people who spoke now, gesturing towards Diego’s face with a large gloved hand. He knew he looked like a mess. The night before, he had another fight. He had gotten distracted –he thought he saw Eudora in the crowd. It was a lucky punch.

“This? It’s nothing. He got a lucky hit.”

“Or six,” Klaus mumbled, biting on his thumb nail as he bounced his leg up and down in a failing attempt to rid himself of nervous energy. Diego shot him a look –or at least tried. It was hard to look at someone with contempt when one of your eyes was swollen shut and you looked like the worst case scenario for a botched nose job. Still, it did a well enough job that Klaus raised his hands in surrender before returning to the decimation of his nails.

“I know you were close to mom–”

“Do-Don’t you talk a-a-a-about h-her.” Diego cut Luther off, pointing an accusatory finger at his Sasquatch-sized brother. “Ju-Just Do-don’t.”

“We’re just trying to help.” To his surprise, Five spoke up now, pausing to sip his coffee. As usual, he already looked bored with the conversation.

“What Five is saying is trying to say is we want to help, Diego. She was our mom too and _this_? This isn’t healthy. I…I used to talk to someone. I think they can help. If you want.” Though Vanya was still soft-spoken, she had slowly begun to get more confident speaking up whenever they met. Especially when it was in her apartment.

“And that detective. Patch was it? Do you think she–.”

The second Five mentioned Eudora, Diego stood, his gaze furious. He glared at his brother. “Do-Don’t y-y-y-you d-d-dare br-bring h-her up!” It had been a long time since Diego stuttered so badly and he didn’t know if it was that or the venom in his tone that stopped Five from finishing his thought. “Sc-screw y-y-you. Sc-sc-screw a-a-a-all o-of y-you! I-I’m le-le-leaving!” Breathless, Diego turned and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him and almost stepping on someone’s cat on the way.

“Well, I think that went well,” Klaus stated as he looked around at his siblings only to shrug when Luther shot him a look.

Hours had passed since the failed intervention of sorts and as Diego on the bed in his apartment, he pulled the small rabbit foot key chain from his pocket and stared at it. Just the sight made him sick with grief. His chest tightened and his vision blurred as tears welled up in his good eye. Before he could even think to stop it, a sob erupted from him as he rested his elbows on his thighs, allowing his face to fall into his hands. He stayed like that, so lost in his grief that he failed to notice the door to his apartment opening or the sounds of someone quietly entering, their movements hesitant.

“Oh.” The sound of Klaus’ whisper startled Diego and as his gaze shot up, his free hand went for one of his knives. Before he could register who it was, he threw it, the blade grazing Klaus’ arm. A warning shot. Klaus yelped in both surprise and pain and stepped back, raising both his hands now in surrender. “Hey, it’s just me. You could have killed me!”

With a sigh, Diego closed his eyes, his free hand moving to wipe his eyes in a meager attempt to pretend he hadn’t been crying like a baby just seconds ago. To his surprise and relief, Klaus didn’t bring it up. “W-what are you doing h-here Kl-Klaus?”

Grimacing, Klaus shrugged as he took a tentative step into the room, touching his injured arm with one of his hands. “I just wanted to see how you were doing and to apologize. I mean, an intervention was probably a bit much. It was Luther’s idea actually which naturally means it was probably not the best idea and I know how…tense those things can be.” Slowly, he ventured closer, stopping when Diego stood up with a sigh.

“I-It’s f-f-fine,” he stated with a sighing yet again as he moved to grab the first aid kit he had in his room, motioning for Klaus to sit down. Though it was hesitant, the male did, watching Diego with wide cautious eyes. “You d-didn’t n-need to come a-all the wa-way here.”

“Oh, I wanted to. Vanya’s place is so small and with Luther there –well, there wasn’t much room for anyone else.” Klaus paused, looking to the empty space Diego assumed Ben occupied. “You know it’s true. Fine, fine. Ben says hi.”

“Hi, B-Ben.” Opening the case, Diego pulled out what he needed and moved to sit on the bed beside Klaus who looked less than thrilled with the idea of having that cut cleaned.

“Um, there was… There was something else I wanted to say.” Klaus paused, looking to Ben again with a sigh before allowing his gaze to return to Diego. “That night, that –Ow be careful. I’m _delicate_.” For that, Diego sprayed the cut again, a small smile playing on his lips as Klaus hissed. However, the smile didn’t last long. “About that night that, uh, the lady detective.”

“D-don’t.” The single word was a warning and Klaus stopped, his expression falling.

“I’m sorry.”

“I-It’s f-fine.”

“No, you don’t understand. I was there when it…” Klaus trailed off and Diego froze, looking up from the bandage to stare at Klaus who now looked more somber than he had seen him in a while.

“W-what?”

“Hazel and Cha-Cha. That was the night they tortured me. She was…” Klaus dropped his gaze, looking down at his hands as he tried to find the right words. “She was there. She was passing by the room and she was the one who… I didn’t tell her, Diego. I didn’t think to tell her and before… They shot her and I left. I-I’m sorry.”

Diego stared at Klaus, trying to process what he was being told. He knew Klaus had been there. He had gone looking for him only to find Eudora instead. Klaus had confirmed it when they were in the car that day. When he recognized Hazel, but he didn’t know exactly what had happened. Diego took in a shaky breath, struggling to process this all. For once, he didn’t feel angry. He felt… Were there words for this? Were words to describe the way his chest throbbed and ached? How he could feel his heart breaking at the thought of how everything had gone down? How Eudora – _beautiful, smart, incredible_ Eudora who deserved a long and happy life had hers ripped from her for just trying to help?

“Please…Please don’t hate me. I didn’t mean for it to happen. If I had known I wouldn’t have…” Klaus stopped, shaking his head, tears falling down his cheeks as he pleaded. “I just –I know what it’s like losing someone like that.”

At that, Diego blinked. It was true, Klaus had lost someone too. He had told him about it in the car, but Diego hadn’t gotten the whole story. In fact, Klaus never brought it up again. Diego stared at his brother who looked down at his hands, wringing them. It was a nervous habit he had even as a child.

“I-I can try to get her,” Klaus offered after the silence became too much for him to bear. He looked at Diego, eyes pleading now. “I can try.”

Diego knew how much Klaus hated doing it but the offer was tempting. What would he tell her if he could see her again? Could Klaus conjure her like the did Ben sometimes? Make her visible? Tangible enough to touch? His heart ached at the thought of being able to see her again. Even for a moment. All the things he wanted to tell her when she was alive but had been too afraid to express. He wanted to see her. He knew that he wouldn’t get to see their mother –Knew that she wasn’t someone who could be reached after death. Despite how much he loved her, she hadn’t been alive. Not like Eudora had been. If he could at least have that,…but he didn’t want her to see him like this.

He knew Five was right. Eudora wouldn’t like what he was becoming. He didn’t want her seeing him bruised and battered so he shook his head.

“N-no. Not now.” He wanted that for the next time they saw each other, for him to be someone she had always thought he could be. The person she had seen in him before her death. Before they had broken up. Back before he disappointed her too. He wanted to be better for her.

“Yeah, okay,” Klaus stated with a small nod. A beat of silence passed before he spoke up again, his tone quiet. “Are we…okay?”

Sighing, Diego nodded. “Y-Yeah, we’re okay. It wa-wasn’t your fault Kl-Klaus. Now give me your arm.”


End file.
